Sunny Skies, Sofia, and Pushing Past Indecision

The world is a blur; a whirring uncatchable bolt of life—one that is filled with promise; promise that is mostly unfulfilled.

Life’s chances and opportunities are indeed plentiful, yet it is us that do not utilize them. We point crooked fingers of anger at years and moments gone by—chastising them for their disproportionate truths and lack of fairness. But the truth—if we dare to accept it—is that every oxygen-filled moment that we curse or blame, was actually a bag of overflowing gifts from the Universe, one that we failed to claim, rejected, or downright missed due to our own doubts of self.

You see the truth is, you are as insignificant, or significant, as you believe. You might try and blame your failings and unanswered ‘wantings’ on Mom, Dad, a friend, or even God. But the truth is that it is YOU, and your own filter of perceptions, that has either happily empowered you with the fruit of your desires, or conversely, robbed you of the pleasure of attainment.

Sitting here on a rooftop terrace at a hotel in Sofia, Bulgaria, I share these realizations with you. And I do so with a Cheshire Cat sized smile painted prominently on my face. I’m sure to the other hotel guests I must look like a well-tanned Joker, or just simply insane. But to be honest, I don’t give a fuck.

Sofia Hotel, Rooftop Terrace

I’m smiling because I know what I’m typing is true. The realizations that I’ve shared in the opening paragraph of this post are not some gymnastic-wordplay. Neither are they some ego massaging nonsense, which unfortunately, seems to be the norm online these days. No, all that I’ve typed, and all that I’ll ever share with you here, are reflections borne from experience, as opposed to the comfort of theory.

I’ve spilt, spent and invested my blood, sweat, and tears to learn all that I have. I’ve overcome hardship and losses that would make lesser men fold, and I did so because I decided to relentlessly keep moving forward in my life. I even purchased dimensional wisdom by paying for it with my life, and did so multiple times. So fuck theory; I’m a product of Action.


You see the truth is, if you’re not practicing what you preach, or if what you preach is an illusion, then all you’ll ever enjoy is the tangy taste of an unfulfilled existence. Sure, you may be able to fool 10 people, 100, or even a 100,00000, but ironically you can’t fool yourself. Because in those quiet times, those lonely moments when no one or no thing is available to monopolize your attention; it’s in those times when your inner self will become its most vocal—calling you out on the lies that you purport, and pointing out the consistent inconsistencies in your illusionary stories.

This is why I advocate authenticity so actively; it is the calling card of truth.

Sure, that truth may not always be impressive or something that leads to adulation. But, if it is validation you seek, then authenticity will always be a fickle friend in your life, coming and going with Unpredictability as it’s calling card.

“The only thing that one can ever truly be an advocate for, is their own truth.” — Caleb

I just remembered that quote. It came back as I stared up into the ocean of blue above and around me, natures elegant ceiling of color. I guess the serenity of the Baltic skyline reminded me of the Other Realms.

No, the Other Realms are not some churchy version of Heaven, where things are painted out to look like some kind of acid-trip of a white fluffy cloud afterlife. That being said, there are some aspects to the afterlife and Other Realms that I saw during my 8 NDE’s, which had a serenity that resonates with my current view of calm skies.

The above quote was something that Caleb, my guide in the other realms, told me. That piece of advice, like much of what I learned there, is tattooed upon my soul; guiding my daily actions in life like a map of actionable truth.

This is why I’m sitting here now, typing this out in Bulgaria. I took a leap of faith, when faith asked for it.

In my Other Realm experiences, I was told to leave all I knew, and to travel while I write. At first, this seemed like a gigantic task. In fact it still does. But the size of the mountain I’m facing is decreasing now; all in proportion with my actions.


As I sold my belongings, and was ready to leave all I knew, you should have seen my face. If Fear had a poster-boy, his name would have been Ethan Michael Carter. I was afraid to leave what I knew, and to exchange the known for the unknown. I know some people might look down on that comment, but it’s ok, I’m all about being honest.

I dare anyone to let go of all they’ve ever known, and to do so on spiritual instruction and without tangible outcomes ahead. I challenge anyone to do that, and to do so without ever feeling even an ounce of fear or apprehensive doubt.

But, I took the steps, and did so in faith.

At first, I did feel as if I would fall and fail. The sinking feeling of preempting defeat has been actively present within me for a month now. I figured it would go before I set off from London. I figured it would dissipate, but it didn’t. In fact the nearer I drew to my flight day, the more stronger the feeling became. It followed me all the way to the airport, and it was my unwanted companion throughout the duration of the flight—making me wonder if I would suffocate from its firm hold around my soul.

Even as I reached Bulgarian soil, my fears and doubts choked my optimism into submission, making me want to tap-out. But, I was here, so I did what I had done thus far, I kept moving forward.

It was only today, after a full 24 hours of being here, did I finally find reconnection with two old friends Positivity and Progress. Today, all the toil and struggle finally let go of the throat of my being; today I finally both felt and saw results.

Which has taught me a great lesson: I now understand that to achieve anything, you must sometimes walk into the Abyss of Indecision.


The Abyss of Indecision is an unavoidable destination on the pathway to success.

Once within the Abyss of Indecision you must make sure to avoid the avenues named Doubt and Past.

For Doubt is a master of persuasion, and will try to sell you future outcomes that are based on fear; outcomes laced in the stench of negativity.

While the other avenue, the Past, will paralyze you with stories and specters of days gone by, leaving you unable to move, and unsure of yourself.

By ignoring these destructive avenues, you not only can walk into the Abyss of Indecision, but you become empowered with the ability to successfully navigate it.

You see my friends, most people fall short of the Abyss, and those that do enter it get sidetracked by Doubt or the Past. But for the select few, those that are normally labelled as ‘Lucky,’ who manage to ignore the distractive avenues, success is the reward they receive.

And the lesson here, one that I have suffered for and I hope you hear, is this:

Taking action and moving your life in the direction of your dreams will force you to leave all your comfort zones, and demand that you walk within touching distance of your fears. But if you can do it, if you can summon the strength to move forward while fear walks with you, heckling you with intimate whispers in your ear—if you can do that—I promise that success will be yours.

I’ll keep you apprised of more realizations that I have during my travels in the realms, and on my Bulgarian tour.

Until next time, make sure to Live More Than You Exist.

By the way, I’m no longer the poster-boy for Fear. I’m now the poster-Man, for Action!

Ethan Michael Carter