Actions, Inactions, And The Language Of Loving Yourself

It often amazes me how despite the fact that we breath in life, humanity seems to as whole, live out lives of hyperventilated exhalations of death.

I’m no philosopher, and nor am I an intellectual, but I can’t help but watch and muse over this world that I currently walk within.

So many people preach “Life.” They seek it out with active fervor through mediums such as literature and entertainment. Yet despite this fact, such a minuscule amount of us actually live in congruency with the search that we so loudly advocate.

I think it was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said

Your actions speak so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.

And if his quote does strike resonance with even a follicle of truth, then most of us are living lives of illegible dissonance; disconnected and foreign to our own internal chords of genuineness.


David Gates said

Dreams are for those who sleep. Life, is for us to keep.

Although his lyrics were aimed at romantic unison with another, they can also be a conduit to the greatest love affair that you will ever have—the one with yourself.

In our lifetimes we may take a lover, husband or wife. We may even take multiples of these. But the truth is, no matter how strongly we feel—or even in the presence of love over lust—that the object of your affection will always be an external presence. We live in a Universe where free will is our birthright. And as such, whoever you love is free to come and free to even leave, which is as it should be.

Therefore our love for another, no matter how strong, is always encased in a packaging of fragility that can be shattered into a million lost moments and a hungry heart, all within a flicker of time.

In the casino of life, these are the odds, the risks, and the realities of romantic love. The risks are indeed high, but like the moth to the flame, we are unable to resist the chase as its rewards are hardwired within us to be attractive. So we roll the dice, as we should.

But, my point within all this is that most of us seek out only romantic love with another, yet we neglect the second, and most primary of all relationships—the one with ourselves.

If I asked you to stand up and extend your left arm out to the side, while keeping your right arm by your side and your right hand in your pocket how would you feel? Maybe at first you’d be ok. But, after 15 minutes or so, you’d probably want to either change hands, have both arms outstretched at the same time, or even quit altogether.

Why is that? It’s because the act in itself is one of imbalance. It feels unnatural to the body not to balance the load of the task.

Not rocket science, right? But, this is how most people live.

They live lives of emotional imbalances that topple over their chances of living fulfilled and meaningful lives.

Most people focus only on their love affair(s) with one another, while neglecting their love affair with themselves.


The truth is, you are not your body, and your body is not you. You are an immortal and infinite soul, that currently inhabits this body you are in.

Therefore, if you do not take the time and effort to acclimate yourself with the vessel that you wear, you can never live in any harmonious manner whatsoever.

And when I talk about getting to know your vessel, I speak not only of the physical, I also refer to the spiritual and emotional functions that reside and work within you (known or unbeknownst to you) as a matter of natural course.

You cannot stop your thoughts, feelings and emotions, no more than you can hold your breath for a minuscule amount of time.

It is designed as such because your thoughts, feelings, and emotions (like your breath) are mechanisms of life that need to operate upon a schedule of consistency in order to generate momentum; momentum that become a the lifeblood of your life.


How do we begin our love affair with ourselves?

We start by addressing our desires. For our desires are the language of the soul, one that too many of us fail to understand.

Those things we call “Dreams,” and “Aspirations,” always seem to remain as such. How many people do you know who dreamed of this, that, or the other, only to be left within an abyss of nothingness?

Everyone “Shoulda been a contender,” so why are so many left just being pretenders?

It is simple. For dreams to become realities, they must be viewed as Desires. And for desires to become actualities, they must be fed a steady two part diet of Belief and Action.


Belief is a popular word. Most people think they know what it means too. But, I challenge people’s understanding of the word “Belief.”

A belief is not a half assed want for something. No, a belief is certainty; certainty that what you are thinking or require, can and will be yours.

Most people do believe, yet they do so with negative things. As a result this influences their actions by steering them toward negative decisions.


The key is to believe that you can succeed in the pursuit of your own personal happiness. For if you can do this, if you can take action based on a certainty that you can’t yet see, then you are not just engaging in a proclamation of your beliefs, but you are instead participating in a hands on demonstration of your belief. And when you can do this, when you can become the personification of your beliefs through the medium of your actions, then not only do you not have to declare your beliefs because they will be a neon sign of your actions for all to see, but more importantly the Universe will feel your echoed certainty in your beliefs, and reward you with the gift of attainment.

So the greatest love affair that you will ever know, is that of the one with yourself.

To honor, feed, and strengthen this relationship between your inner and outer self (your Soul and your body) you must listen to what you hear as “dreams” that you must fulfill. But, you must view these dreams as Desires, and you must understand that by believing in your ability to attain these desires, coupled with your actions based on these desires, is how you create, foster, and develop, your love affair with yourself.

Until next time, make sure to Live More Than You Exist.

6 responses to “Actions, Inactions, And The Language Of Loving Yourself

  1. OMG, I loved this post. There were so many quo tables in there. As a Monday, you will be ‘classroom famous (LOL)!’ because I’m writing a lot of what you said down, and I am posting it all over my classroom. You say you’re no intellectual, but I beg to differ Mr. Carter. You may not be stuffy and pretentious, but you, my dear sir, are very intellectual.

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